What a gift we received tonight!
I spent all day inside. I cleaned and organized my closet and the linen closet. Filed paper that has been piling up a few weeks. Etc. Jon left for work at 2:30 this afternoon. He'd spent the morning watching the Masters golf tournament.
Anyway, at 7:00, after supper, I pushed myself to go outside to sit a while and watch the dark come up. It had been a beautiful day, as far as I could tell from my window. The moment I stepped outside my entire being went "aaahhhhhh". It was warm and breezy. Mmmmm! I passed one man that actually smiled at me and said, "hi". You have NO idea how rare that has been lately. People don't even make eye contact let alone smile or speak.
I found an empty chair in one of the spots I like on the north side. The sea was calm and still quite a few people in it, both adults and children. Toward the south side there was a small group of people and right away I noticed two guys with guitars very quietly playing together. Only moments after I sat down, a young Asian-looking woman came out with her ipad and found a chair near mine. SHE looked at me and smiled, too.
Out on the beach was a mother and two or three teenagers. They began taking down their umbrellas and rolling up their blankets, folding up their beach chair, and packing up to leave the beach. As they left the sand and came up through the gate to the condo, a young woman came out of the gate and spread a towel out on the sand and sat down to look at the ocean. She was wearing a dark strapless dress, the kind that has elastic across the boobs to hold it up. A handsome young couple came out of the condo and went through the gate down to the lifeguard shack. He was just a good-looking guy in a ball cap and she was slender with long dark hair and a long, striped tee shirt. (Slender with long dark hair describes 90% of the young women I see down here, by the way. Have I mentioned that before?) They sat where I could see them, not around on the sea side as most people do.
The two guitar players began their concert. They began playing and singing loud enough to be heard by all of us. For over an hour they played nonstop. And GOOD songs. And the one has a really good voice, too. They played some, of course, Jimmy Buffet. Jimmy's not my fav, but I enjoyed their accoustic covers and the subject matter perfect for where we were here in South Florida. They played Otis Redding's Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay!!! They played Guns and Roses (I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride...). That is G&R, isn't it? They played some reggae. Even an arrangement of Eminem. The couple on the lifeguard shack bobbed their heads and swayed to the music. The girl on the towel turned to look at the musicians, wrapped a white scarf around her arms, then turned laid on her stomach to relax and enjoy. I glanced at the Asian girl beside me and she looked at me and we smiled at each other. I looked at her later and she was softly singing along to the songs while she worked at something on her ipad. A small group from the condo gathered around the musicians with their drinks. People walking up and down the beach would smile and look up to see where the music was coming from.
I wished Jon was with me. It was the perfect evening. Well, almost perfect. I hadn't noticed it at first, but sadly I later saw that the mother with the teenagers group, when they packed up their beach gear and left the beach, left all their litter as well. A red solo cup, lots of other paper and debris. And the trash barrel sitting there 20' away. Even that did not get me as upset as it had the other night with beer cap man. The beauty of the evening and the freely given concert made me feel too good.
I stayed outside over an hour. It was getting dark. I waited till the song they were playing ended before I got up to leave, and looked at them as I left, waved and said, "thank you!" "Goodnight" they replied.
Good night, indeed!
Everyone was smiling, relaxing and enjoying.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Long time, no sea....
I meant to post more on a more regular basis. I have a lot of catching up to do. But tonight I'm just posting about tonight. I did not even leave the building today until just past 7:00 pm. My husband had the day off, but had some online training to do. I used the day to "putter" as I like to call it. Laundry, pay a few bills that are due, check my email and facebook. Jon actually did leave to go to the store for groceries for supper, which he, thankfully, cooked tonight. Nice to have a hubby that likes to cook. Anyway, about 7:00 we decided to go sit outside and stare at the ocean for a while. Today was a beautiful day and I have to say that spending the entire day, especially in Florida, inside seems uncomfortable. Somewhat depressing even.
But it was just beautiful outside tonight. Sky clear, soft breeze, I was comfortable in an old 3/4 sleeve black tee shirt and my old Banana Republic "boyfriend" chino cropped white pants. It was the first night in several weeks that Jon and I went out together to sit and watch the ocean. Watch the dark come up, as I say sometimes. We're on the Miami side, so the sunrises there. But the sun doesn't set on our side, so I say the dark comes up.
Jon works nights, mostly. A 3:00 pm to 11:00 pm shift. Occasionally I will go outside by myself at sunset. This is something we did together a lot when we first moved in and before he found his job down here. The sky and the ocean changes constantly and I could look at it forever. I think about how I'd like to paint it, or photograph it. I keep asking myself why I didn't think to bring my water colors down or my colored pencils. But lately, I've been going out by myself because Jon is working. The last few times were not as peaceful and pleasant for me. The building we live in, a condominium, is right on the ocean. We can sit out by the pool deck and look out onto the sand and ocean. There are plenty of chairs around and some tables. Pretty nice, really. In this building there have been a lot of tourists, or seasonal residents. New faces come, stay a while, then leave. (Of course we have only lived here close to 6 months ourselves.) Last weekend there was a large group of young and very good looking couples with half a dozen small children and babies between them. They took lounge chairs and sectioned off an area where they gathered to visit and eat. I believe the lounge chair corral was to keep the children safe and close. I sat a bit away from them, mainly because I'm shy and also I don't speak French so if they were talking I'd assume they were saying things about me. But they were grilling out each night too. And some of them would stroll beyond the lounge chair barrier to walk past me to the grills and back. The toddlers would chase after their dads, then the wife/mothers would come after the children and carry them back to their "area". The men were generally nice and would smile as they passed me. The women would do everything in their power to avoid looking at me at all. It made me uncomfortable and I would not stay as long as I would have liked.
But tonight I thought with my own husband there I'd feel "safe" and we could sit longer. And for the first time in weeks, it was just us!! We both relaxed and for a few moments enjoyed the serenity of sea and sky. Then we saw the tall slender figure of a young man, probably early 20's, come around the side of the lifeguard shack in front of us. Someone usually does lay claim to the lifeguard shack in the evening. They sit on the sea side and really can't be seen for the most part. We have done it ourselves. Anyway, tonight the young man was using it. He tried to open his bottle of beer on the door of the shack. then he tried the flag pole as an opener. Then he bent over and popped the bottle cap off with the deck edge of the shack. The bottle cap dropped into the sand beneath and he slipped back to the ocean side where we could no see him. Jackass! That got both Jon and I a little irritated. There is a trash can 20 feet from where he was. We tried to dismiss it and enjoy the ocean again. A number of boats were out tonight as the sea was quite calm. A few sail boats, and several other boats. The young man appeared again and popped the cap off another bottle of beer and let the cap drop into the sand. Asshole! My breath got a little shorter due to my disgust at this behavior. Why would someone leave their garbage on the beach!!! I've got to tell you, at least where we are, there is a surprising amount of trash left on the beach. Jon and I decided to go in for the night. The jerk appeared one last time as we were leaving and this time a pretty and smiling girl was beside him as he popped yet another cap into the sand. My husband said garbage leaves garbage on the beach. I guess so....
But it was just beautiful outside tonight. Sky clear, soft breeze, I was comfortable in an old 3/4 sleeve black tee shirt and my old Banana Republic "boyfriend" chino cropped white pants. It was the first night in several weeks that Jon and I went out together to sit and watch the ocean. Watch the dark come up, as I say sometimes. We're on the Miami side, so the sunrises there. But the sun doesn't set on our side, so I say the dark comes up.
Jon works nights, mostly. A 3:00 pm to 11:00 pm shift. Occasionally I will go outside by myself at sunset. This is something we did together a lot when we first moved in and before he found his job down here. The sky and the ocean changes constantly and I could look at it forever. I think about how I'd like to paint it, or photograph it. I keep asking myself why I didn't think to bring my water colors down or my colored pencils. But lately, I've been going out by myself because Jon is working. The last few times were not as peaceful and pleasant for me. The building we live in, a condominium, is right on the ocean. We can sit out by the pool deck and look out onto the sand and ocean. There are plenty of chairs around and some tables. Pretty nice, really. In this building there have been a lot of tourists, or seasonal residents. New faces come, stay a while, then leave. (Of course we have only lived here close to 6 months ourselves.) Last weekend there was a large group of young and very good looking couples with half a dozen small children and babies between them. They took lounge chairs and sectioned off an area where they gathered to visit and eat. I believe the lounge chair corral was to keep the children safe and close. I sat a bit away from them, mainly because I'm shy and also I don't speak French so if they were talking I'd assume they were saying things about me. But they were grilling out each night too. And some of them would stroll beyond the lounge chair barrier to walk past me to the grills and back. The toddlers would chase after their dads, then the wife/mothers would come after the children and carry them back to their "area". The men were generally nice and would smile as they passed me. The women would do everything in their power to avoid looking at me at all. It made me uncomfortable and I would not stay as long as I would have liked.
But tonight I thought with my own husband there I'd feel "safe" and we could sit longer. And for the first time in weeks, it was just us!! We both relaxed and for a few moments enjoyed the serenity of sea and sky. Then we saw the tall slender figure of a young man, probably early 20's, come around the side of the lifeguard shack in front of us. Someone usually does lay claim to the lifeguard shack in the evening. They sit on the sea side and really can't be seen for the most part. We have done it ourselves. Anyway, tonight the young man was using it. He tried to open his bottle of beer on the door of the shack. then he tried the flag pole as an opener. Then he bent over and popped the bottle cap off with the deck edge of the shack. The bottle cap dropped into the sand beneath and he slipped back to the ocean side where we could no see him. Jackass! That got both Jon and I a little irritated. There is a trash can 20 feet from where he was. We tried to dismiss it and enjoy the ocean again. A number of boats were out tonight as the sea was quite calm. A few sail boats, and several other boats. The young man appeared again and popped the cap off another bottle of beer and let the cap drop into the sand. Asshole! My breath got a little shorter due to my disgust at this behavior. Why would someone leave their garbage on the beach!!! I've got to tell you, at least where we are, there is a surprising amount of trash left on the beach. Jon and I decided to go in for the night. The jerk appeared one last time as we were leaving and this time a pretty and smiling girl was beside him as he popped yet another cap into the sand. My husband said garbage leaves garbage on the beach. I guess so....
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Yes, this is the dream, so what is my problem?
Almost nightly I wake up in the middle of the night and, once I've realized where I am, my heart starts to pound and my breathing becomes rapid. I feel a sense of panic. After a few moments I calm down, but then I lay awake in bed with all sorts of thoughts and questions, like, "What am I doing here!?!" I sleep well and most of the night only about every third or fourth night. Yikes!
We've only been here two months. I've known my husband since 2003. Ever since we became a couple we have talked about how we wanted to move somewhere (we had many locations in mind) and soak up the culture and "start over". I am very confused. I like it here. I even love some aspects of living here. But I also wonder if this was a good decision. The first six weeks here I was utterly depressed. I had fleeting moments of joy when we were outside on the beach or exploring by car. Then I would spend a few days that I did not leave our building - not good for my soul!
I began a blog at the beginning of 2010. I knew 2010 was going to be a rollercoaster year. I hoped for many changes in my life. (I had no idea!) I planned to loose weight. I hoped for 50 pounds. (I was thrilled that I managed 20!) I was going to completely abstain from alcohol. (Yeah, right!) I was going to retire. (And I did, thank God.) Thank God! I managed to make it 32 years and earn my pension! Then I was going to get back to my art and paint. ( Nope.) I only kept the blog up a short time. I was very whiny and negative. And, once people I knew started reading it I found I was "editing" the content - I wasn't writing what I was really thinking. But I wish now I'd kept it up, because so much happened after that and the last thing I ever ever dreamed at the beginning of 2010 was that by the end of the year my husband and I would be living here!
Well, whether it was a good decision or not, here I am. I wrote to my friend who lives wwwaaaayyyy over on the other side of the country that I hope when our year here is over that I'll be very happy to have been here and experienced it. I know that how I feel about this place is largely how I DECIDE to feel about it. And this afternoon, finally, I went out to the beach on my own late afternoon. Jon was playing golf. As I sat there I realized that THIS IS FLORIDA! I'm living the life people dream of. I don't know how long we'll be here. Maybe a year, maybe more. I thought to myself that in the time I have here I darned well ought to insist on a lot of beach time, and outdoor time in general. Soak up and embrace Florida. What is my problem, anyway?
Welcome to my blog. Maybe we'll learn some things together. My main purpose for doing this is in the hopes that I will learn something. Something about myself. Something about how to accept and enjoy my own life as it is. At Christmas a friend asked me if I was feeling mellow now that I was in Florida. As I answered her I realized it for the first time in my own life. "I don't think I've ever been mellow." I need to change that. I need to UNLAX!!!
We've only been here two months. I've known my husband since 2003. Ever since we became a couple we have talked about how we wanted to move somewhere (we had many locations in mind) and soak up the culture and "start over". I am very confused. I like it here. I even love some aspects of living here. But I also wonder if this was a good decision. The first six weeks here I was utterly depressed. I had fleeting moments of joy when we were outside on the beach or exploring by car. Then I would spend a few days that I did not leave our building - not good for my soul!
I began a blog at the beginning of 2010. I knew 2010 was going to be a rollercoaster year. I hoped for many changes in my life. (I had no idea!) I planned to loose weight. I hoped for 50 pounds. (I was thrilled that I managed 20!) I was going to completely abstain from alcohol. (Yeah, right!) I was going to retire. (And I did, thank God.) Thank God! I managed to make it 32 years and earn my pension! Then I was going to get back to my art and paint. ( Nope.) I only kept the blog up a short time. I was very whiny and negative. And, once people I knew started reading it I found I was "editing" the content - I wasn't writing what I was really thinking. But I wish now I'd kept it up, because so much happened after that and the last thing I ever ever dreamed at the beginning of 2010 was that by the end of the year my husband and I would be living here!
Well, whether it was a good decision or not, here I am. I wrote to my friend who lives wwwaaaayyyy over on the other side of the country that I hope when our year here is over that I'll be very happy to have been here and experienced it. I know that how I feel about this place is largely how I DECIDE to feel about it. And this afternoon, finally, I went out to the beach on my own late afternoon. Jon was playing golf. As I sat there I realized that THIS IS FLORIDA! I'm living the life people dream of. I don't know how long we'll be here. Maybe a year, maybe more. I thought to myself that in the time I have here I darned well ought to insist on a lot of beach time, and outdoor time in general. Soak up and embrace Florida. What is my problem, anyway?
Welcome to my blog. Maybe we'll learn some things together. My main purpose for doing this is in the hopes that I will learn something. Something about myself. Something about how to accept and enjoy my own life as it is. At Christmas a friend asked me if I was feeling mellow now that I was in Florida. As I answered her I realized it for the first time in my own life. "I don't think I've ever been mellow." I need to change that. I need to UNLAX!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)